“I Looked for You”: The Queerness of Mistress America
“I got rejected by the Lit Society. I’m so suggestible, like, I think that because I got rejected, I think I can’t write.” Tracy tells this to Brooke, whom she has known for maybe three hours, give or take. And yet, the closeness and trust that Tracy feels in Brooke, and perhaps vice versa, transcends the limitations of time. One can immediately tell that the moment Brooke appears on screen, they are as in awe of each other as we are of them. Read the rest of this entry »
My Superlative Year in Film: 2015 Edition
Here are some words about how 2015 was a year that impacted me, in both good and bad ways. Here are some introspective thoughts about what that means to me. Here are some words about what I learned over the last year, and what I hope 2016 will hold. Here are some words about the movies I watched. I watched 340 new to me films, and around 120 2015 releases. I’m really happy I got to work with such great people this year and make some strides in my career, so thanks everyone. Read the rest of this entry »
Everything Becomes Pure Want: 15 from 2015
“You can’t really what it is to want things until you’re at least thirty. And then with each passing year, it gets bigger, because the want is more and the possibility is less. Like how each passing year of your life seems faster because it’s a smaller portion of your total life. Like that, but in reverse. Everything becomes pure want.”
Looking in no particular direction, Brooke (Greta Gerwig) says this to Tracy (Lola Kirke) as her life is falling apart. “Everything is pure want.” Maybe that desire, inexplicable and ineffable and uncontrollable, is the biggest running theme in my list, and to get personal, my life. In the films featured on this list and in my personal life, there’s the want for intimacy, to be validated, to be wanted, to be seen and heard, to find stability, to be human, to ache, to feel pleasure, to transcend or eschew convention. It’s full of flaws, complexities, and nuances. And it’s not that those wants or desired be fulfilled that matters: it’s the articulation that might matter more. It’s not only cinematic, it’s human.
You can also find my list of the year ranked here, the top 10 musical moments, and everything else I’ve written this year. Read the rest of this entry »