Month: September 2009

Glee: Second Impressions

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            So, if you read my previous review on Glee, you know that I fell in love with it from the first few minutes of the pilot. So, while the pilot shows what the show will be about, the next few episodes answer the question as to whether the show will be able to sustain as a television series and not a one hit wonder. The next episode was called “Showmance”, which was a little off-putting to me. Finn has feelings for Rachel, quite obviously, but is still dating the cheerleader and president of the Celibacy Club Quinn Fabray. Will Schuster wants more people to recognize that the Glee Club exists, and plans an assembly for the club to perform at. The song he wants: Le Freak. He apparently performed it with his Glee Club back in the early ‘90s, when it was “cool”. That year, his le Club won regionals. But, even the kids, the down in the dumps losers, realize that that song wasn’t even cool in the ‘70s. Rachel joins the Celibacy Club and comes up with an idea. “What do teenagers want?” “Sex!” So, in front of the entire school, much to Sue Sylvester’s horror (the awesome Jane Lynch nails every line) performs Salt-N-Peppa’s “Push It”, simulating sex positions and rapping. What does this audience of teenagers think of their performance? They love it. Screams of accolades from the students. Will also tries to get extra money as a janitor, while his wife (the tightly wound and delicious Jessalyn Gilsig) learns he’s having a hysterical pregnancy. Finn makes out with Rachel and then, for what reason they included this I don’t know, prematurely ejaculates. Emma starts dating Ken Tanaka, after months of trying to win her over. She still loves Will though. An awkward episode, but filled with good performances of “Push It”, Rihanna’s take a Bow”, and Kanye West’s “Gold Digger”. This episode was like a sexed up High School Musical.

            In the third episode, “Acafellas”, Will leaves Glee club, leaving Rachel in charge. Will starts an acapella group with Puck (Mark Saling), the other football stud, Ken Tanaka, and a few of the adult misfits. Josh Groban guest stars as himself. This episode is funnier and very emotional. Kurt Hummel comes out to his best friend Mercedes, something he hasn’t admitted to anyone else. Great performance of “Bust Your Windows” from Amber Riley. Very funny and gets the show back on track in terms of plot and humor.

            Episode four, “Preggers”, is a shocker. Quinn’s gets pregnant and tells Finn it’s his, when it’s really Puck’s (which actually, under the circumstances, may be considered statutory rape). Teri Schuster tries to convince Quinn to raise it for her. And Kurt comes out to his dad. Kurt joins the football team as kicker and has everyone on the team dance to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)”. Very sweet and funny.

If the show keeps on like this, it will be a winner. Next week, my favorite Broadway actress will be guest starring, the Emmy winning (Pushing Daisies, sigh) as April Rhodes. She will perform songs including “Maybe This Time” from Cabaret and Carrie Underwood’s “Last Name”.


Showmance: B-,

Acafelllas: B+,

Preggers: B+,

Questions for Death: “The Final Destination” in 3D Review

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The Final Destination 3D Review

Instead of my typical review, I will present questions concerning the new horror film The Final Destination in 3D. It’s about people trying to cheat death and trying to find creative ways to kill twetysomething bimbos. Without further ado, here are my questions:

  1. Why is each character so incredibly underdeveloped or even undeveloped?
  2. Why is the plotting as thin as rice paper?
  3. Why does each character us the word “vision” as if it were some very articulate and powerful or meaningful sentence?
  4. Why is it necessary for each main character to be shirtless?
  5. Why do people keep leaving dangerous and flammable liquids out? In certain careers, can’t you be severely disciplined for being so careless?
  6. Why did they have to have such a graphic sex scene…and in 3D?
  7. How is it that in supernatural horror films, the car always manages to lock itself and the person inside can never unlock it?
  8. Why, when Hunt (Nick Zano) got sucked in by the pool drain, didn’t he slip out of his swim trunks? What’s a little embarrassment for a life saved?
  9. Why didn’t anyone notice he was trapped under water?
  10.  Why wasn’t there a life guard?
  11. Why did that kid pray him with a water gun knowing Hunt was carrying his iPhone?
  12. Why didn’t Hunt grab the kid’s ear and bring him to his guardian to complain?
  13. Why didn’t the ambulance look out? Wasn’t he near a hospital slow zone anyway?
  14. How did the two, Nick (Bobby Campo) and George (Mykelti Williamson), know what room that guy was in?
  15. Why, when leaving the old man there, did the nurse leave the water one?
  16. Did no one realize that the hallway was flooding? Really?!
  17. Did one hear the yells of the elderly man?
  18. When at the mall, did Lori (Shantel VanSanten) not tie her shoes?
  19. When she gets her shoe stuck in the escalator, why didn’t she slip out of her shoes?
  20. Why do the construction workers leave all those liquids and flammable things unprotected?
  21. Does a large fan really have the power to push such a heavy cart with liters and gallons of paint, and thinner, and primer, and God know what other huge cans?
  22. Would someone really leave a nail gun loaded?
  23.   Could a small ember fly for 20 seconds and ignite such a huge fire?
  24. Could glasses cause a fire on sand simply form sun magnification?
  25.  Could that fire really go unnoticed throughout the mall?
  26. Why are the visual effects and 3D effects so hokey?

The Final Question: Is this really the Final Destination?

Grade: D